Just cannot stop eating on these bloody steroids! My friends who also have RA ask if I’m also angry on them as they are sometimes, I say ‘no, just hungry’. Then I recall that my bf has called me hangry four times in the past week. When it comes to a mealtime and food is not ready pronto, I feel a soaring agitation building. Now, both myself and my boyfriend cook and I haven’t told him this but one night I was cooking dinner late (therefore extra hungry) and I was infuriated with everything. Including what at the time seemed like really ridiculous comments from him. Comments such as; ‘can I help you with anything?’ I knew this was a perfectly reasonable and lovely gesture but the only response I could muster was *silence* with an accidental (I promise) slamming of the oven door to which he came over and asked if I was hangry? It amuses him that I am only angry around food and upbeat the rest of the time. We laughed and the rage subsided for a few seconds until I realised that dinner was still not ready.

Now before those who know me say ‘you’re always hungry!’ Yes such is true. I do love food and am a big foodie. I get excited at the prospect of tasty food and occasionally I will clap. And I do get hangry but since being on yoyo-ing quantities of pred (prednisone) over the last 5 months I have become ravenous, especially on the higher doses. For example, on Sunday we met up with friends and went for a delicious Vietnamese lunch and I was immediately thinking of more food – whilst we were still paying the bill.

I cannot wait to get off the pred as apart from the ravenous hunger/ hangry I also have moon face. Yes that’s an actual medical term, the round face all those with autoimmune chronic illnesses know and hate. Today myself and my friends with RA even had a two hour Whatsap group banter about contouring our moon faces! But the topic very quickly returned to food and what we were going to have for our fictitious dinner party. Yes they are all on pred too.

I have previously described in Mexico on Steroids how wonderful steroids were for giving me the most amazing holiday of a lifetime. And this was all true, what a magical time! But with continued use over months and years, steroids can show their dark side. Long term side effects include aggression, weight gain, breathing problems, skin thinning, bone damage and cognitive problems, to name just a few. Luckily for me I am using them as a stepping stone whilst I get back on my chemo and biologic drugs which I have been off for almost seven months due to a blood infection. For some of this time (in contrast) I have actually lost my appetite as the RA takes over my body.

But for now I’m still on the pred and today I even had two lunches and right now I have a chicken curry, daal and rice cooking away for dinner.

..Ok I have just returned from eating essentially two dinners of said chicken curry and daal. I literally couldn’t finish writing these final sentences, I had to eat. Can’t wait to get off these steroids, be rid of this frustration, moon face and of course the more dangerous effects but for now I have decided to embrace the appetite for these last few weeks!

To my friends, for now, keep any small bite sized children away from me.

To my boyfriend, sorry my darling for the extra hangry.

It’s not my fault. I have roid rage. 😇

*illustration my own